All systems are go.

The woods were good; things are back to normal, with the exception of my incessant insomnia.  I really think it's the new apartment (although, it's not exactly new anymore...).  Creeks, noises, neighbors upstairs shuffling about, and that stinking train with it's blaring horn that comes by about 2 hours into my sleep... I'll get over it all eventually.  Maybe I should start praying for the conductor of that train... to find a new job.  We'll see.

Election season is finally over.  I'm thankful God doesn't have a race, gender, party-affiliation, or even nationality.  I also like that He's sovereign.  Regardless of who you voted for, I think we can all agree that we're a little bummed Heidi Klum & Seal aren't leaving the country now.  If only McCain would've pulled through for us there...

Sarah Basye Eidson gets the award for Best Election Season Facebook Status: "Sarah couldn't have handled another 4 years of whining and complaining anyways."  Funny.  

Tomorrow is my first country club gala event ever.  Our company did some fundraising for the ADA, and as fate would have it, we beat out all other competing Joplin businesses.  Another cool thing: I happened to tie with Teresa for top seller.  So the two of us, our GM, and the VP are taking a much needed Saturday night off and traveling out to the event.  Should be good for networking, if for nothing else.

And Sunday, my most favorite day, is D-group.  My co-leader and I know how much our girls love Starbucks, but since it's going to be in the 40's, and since two hours is a lot of time to try and keep eight 13 year olds contained in one building, we decided to set up a coffee bar in my apartment, play some board games, and start planning for our winterfest.

I really can't even articulate how much I love these girls.  Since I'm wordless, here's a peek into 3 recent conversations:  Wednesday night at youth group, our high schooler's took the night off (WC playoff game), so our junior high had the youth rooms all to themselves.  

Scenario 1:  Old mauve rocking chair that does a complete 360 happens to be vacant in the middle of the room.  What else would you do but spin each other around until someone gets hurt or until the chair tips and breaks?  We were so fortunate as to have both things happen at the same time.  Alexis flew out of the chair as it fell backwards, and Jordan, being a good friend, tried to catch her, but instead missed and jammed her finger.  Of course, when someone is hurt and needs ice, you don't just go alone... you traipse a flock of junior highers across a building to get it with you!  So we're laughing and shooshing down the hall when I noticed that some adult class off to our left is meeting in the lobby, with just a small partition to block distractions.  So, as not to be noticed, I suggested army crawling the 15' gap... which, obviously, is MUCH less noticable :).  

Scenario 2:  Toilet paper game.  Two of our girls, in particular, always think of creative ways to cheat in games, or to be completely absent from them.  Luke (our JH youth minister) pulls out a 12 pack of toilet paper and asks for volunteers.  I suggest to Phoenix that she go play, to which she reply's, "Ewe, no, it's not even Charmin!!"  

Scenario 3:  We are building a new building, so we think it best to grab a flashlight and travel out there to snoop around.  Setting is important here... it's completely dark, we're surrounded by farmland, and we are 3 junior highers and one leader sneaking around a fresh construction sight (which is probably... most likely... okay, definitely against a whole host of rules).  As we approach, fear sets in.  The following convo happens:

Sarah: "Guy's, what if there are like, bums and squatters living in here right now?!"

Maddie: "Oh, it's okay Sarah, I know French!"

See?  You love them too now, don't you.  They make it easy.

One last update:  Sometime in July, I lost one of my journals, a book, and my bible, all within a week.  For those who don't know, I'm a chronic journaler.  I write life down.  Losing that journal was particularly painful for me because this last year has been a very, very eventful one.  I was looking forward to opening it in 20 years and reliving some rough things and some good things, and tracing my growth.  Needless to say, I've been procrastinating on purchasing another one, because I still have ridiculous hopes of that one turning up.  I finally broke down Wednesday... but I didn't go conventional.  Over the summer, I read a particularly awful book (no seriously, awful) called "The Back of the Napkin," which deals with communicative sketches and doodles.  Even though the book was terrible (I mean really bad), I do agree it is a better way to communicate.  So instead of a journal, I bought a 100 pg sketch-pad, in which I have limited myself on wordage, and must draw out my day and thoughts.  This proves difficult because I have zero artistic abilities.  But who knows, maybe something will come out of it.  That being said, I'm off to art journal.  

Movies, woods, and words.

Friends, it's been a while.

Tomorrow (or today, since it is three in the morning) marks one month in my new apartment with my fantastic roommate, Emily.  Our friends always told us we were similar, but now that we live together, it's pretty ridiculous.  We really should be just one person. 

In the past week, I have seen, for the first time ever: Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, The Truman Show, and three episodes of Lost from season 2 (in which I was completely lost, because I have yet to see anything from any other season).  My d-group of 8th grade girls reminded me that I am completely uncultured in movie history, and next on their list is the Star Wars saga.  Apparently there are 6 films??  

Today I hit a bit of a low-point (as in I cried.  a lot).  I am emotionally tapped out this week, folks.  Lot's of people with all their problems, and I can't fix them.  Quite frankly I don't want to.  God's sovereignty takes a lot off of my shoulders.  My emotional bucket emptied not because of the volume that I dealt with this week (which was above average), but because of the hard words needed in a few situations.  There's a big difference between real crisis and complainers.  I had a lot of bitter, controlling complainers this week, to which I do not lend my sympathy.  When I have a best friend who's 50 year old mother (who weighs 82 lbs) is on her death bed after a 7 year down-hill battle with lung cancer, it's hard for me to deal with petty things.  There's a difference between "prayer intercessor's" and gossips trying to make themselves look righteous compared to their peers.  Compare yourself to Jesus and tell me how righteous you find yourself.  Hard words wear me out quicker than anything.  

This week, as soon as possible, I will hike with no books, no cell phone, no facebook, no email, no voices, no people, no hard words, and no confrontation, in the woods north Arkansas.  I am a realist who often errs on the side of cold heartedness.  Right now I feel that I am cold, harsh, distant, unsympathetic, and completely lacking in compassion and grace for others.  When I get in modes like this, it is easy for me to stick my nose into some long, dry systematic theology book and stay lost in my own thoughts for a time.  But it's not summer anymore, and I don't get to do whatever the heck I want.  The reality is that I will be around a lot of people for 6 of 7 days a week.  I need a day to think about my response to grace and the gospel.  With that in perspective, I'll think about my response to other's and their situations.  Usually when this happens to me it reveals my own prideful heart, one that's full of advice but can never seem to take any.  My goal is to dig, repent, and come home as a more balanced compassionate contender for truth.  I can't wait for the woods.

I'l keep you posted...

Worst Book of the Year

That's right. "Jim and Casper go to Church." Worst. Go ahead, throw your stones, but I was seriously disappointed for five reasons, all of which you are free to disagree with.

1.) Jim Henderson is a pansy. Plain and simple.

2.) The "Here's what's wrong with your church" attitude reeks of pride (the mother of all sin). The church is an institution stewarded by regenerated sinner's who are attempting to teach God's word to the masses. By nature we are sinner's and by nature we fail. I don't need an atheist to reemphasize this. This is what grace is for.

3.) This book insinuates that if you look at your church through the eyes of non christians and cater to them, you will find faults that can be fixed, and thus your church will be more effective and will grow. Wrong! I hate almost every stinking book about church growth. Ultimately, Jesus is the head of the church, and it's up to Him to grow it. The Spirit will work on the hearts of the people through the mouths of leaders, and there aren't 10-easy steps to make this happen. It's ordained authority, and this book is a nice piece on reductionism. What I mean is that Jim Henderson doesn't say all the wrong things, he just doesn't say everything he needs to say. Altering the corporate ways in which we worship and commune with God and His people will not, in and of itself, strengthen your church. It's watered down Christianity, and it sucks.

4.) Let me elaborate in this way: The church is NOT for non-christians. They are welcome, we LOVE them, but they don't get to dictate what happens. I assure you, seeker insensitivity is as hot as ever!

Like I said, there are things we do as Christians that seem odd, or even foolish to outsiders, especially in a corporate setting, take for instance communion and offering. Taking bread and juice and thinking over, "This is My body, this is My blood," well all of that does sound a bit odd. And in a culture where money is an idol, I'm sure the principle of stewardship sounds insane. "I went to college to get this degree, to get this job, to make this amount of money, and therefore I worked for it, I own it, and I'll do with it as I please." Let me submit to you that God gave you the mind with which you think, the job opportunities that came your way (and all the paychecks along with it), and if you worship the Creator God and not currency, then you'll want to be obedient and give sacrificially to be effective for His kingdom. For some of us, that's way more than 10%. That makes no sense if your heart is not regenerated. All this to say that I didn't have to pay an atheist to travel around to America's megachurch's, let him log his complaints into book form, and sell it to the masses to figure that out.

5.) Jim Henderson is still a pansy.

Ascend

NYR set up has begun!  In 20 minutes, I will be up a mountain with no wifi, tv, or cell phone, etc. for two whole weeks.  Bliss.

See you in august.

Share your library.

"I marvel that church people are so indifferent to, and neglectful of, the book that tells them about their Saviour. But I marvel more that church LEADERS are doing so little about it. Unquestionably the most fatal weakness of the present day Church is the lack of leadership in the pulpit on this one point of guiding and leading its people into the ONE HABIT that is the source and basis of everything that the church exists to accomplish in its people. ... If it isn't the pulpit's business, then just what is the pulpit's business?

What the church is for: To HOLD CHRIST before the people. The church was not invented by men. Men have used it and misused it. But the church was founded by Christ. Christ is the heart of the church, and it's Lord. The church exists to bear witness to Christ.  Christ himself, not the church, is the transforming power in men's lives.  The mission of the church is to exalt Christ, so that He Himself may do his own blessed work on the hearts of men."

I took this from Halley's Bible Handbook by Henry H. Halley (Zondervan, 1965), in which the front page says "The most important Page in This Book is 814."  Those paragraphs are what I found on page 814.  All of the capitalized statements are not my own, but are actually in print as such.  

Having only been a Christian for 5 years, and having only experienced one church community (which is wonderful), there are a lot of questions I haven't thought about, like, "What constitutes a church?",  "Is megachurch a fad?",  "What is the best, most effective way to grow a church?",  and "What has to change organizationally as a church grows?"  Only recently have I come into those discussions, and in doing so, I realized I have a huge lack of sound doctrine.   There's a lot that I don't know about church history, and I am fresh in my study of patristics.

I've picked up a few biographies, autobiographies, and books on church history, and it seems for every one I read, I need ten more to elaborate.  Feel free to recommend anything from your library.     

From all of that, here's the first foundation I've come to:  Recognizing Christ as the head of the church and realizing that ultimately it's up to Jesus to grow His church is necessary, and liberating.   I can worry much less about keeping my options open because God creates opportunities.  I don't grow the church, but I should be obedient and use my gifts (from God) for the opportunities (from God) in whatever location or organization He appoints for me.  All of life becomes much less about me and the things I need to do, and much more focused on what He has already done, and where I fit into what He's doing.

I'm learning I think a very important lesson.

Life lessons at Sea World

Last Tuesday we drove home from our Texas vacation.  Of the 20 times I've been to Texas, I've hated it 19.  I'm a minimalist who doesn't like humidity.  In that sauna of a state, everything is huge, large, grand, and arrogant.  Doesn't get much worse for me.  My sister Heidi, however, is queen of persuasion, and offered me a free trip to San Antonio with her, her husband Jay, and their three children (Ashtynne 7, Tarynne 3, Brody 1).  The catch?  Babysit so Jay & Heidi could have a couple of date nights.  Aunt Heather is my favorite of all of my roles in life, and with that, off we were for 9 days of bliss (in spite of Texas).  Little did I know, I was going to learn a great big lesson from three little people. 

We stayed at a very cool hotel in San Antonio.  It was an Inn & Suite, with a giant pool, cabana, play ground area, and a secluded jungle-esque hot tub.  The two girls LOVE to swim.  They would swim, eat, play in the playground, swim some more, sleep, wake up, and want to swim again.  On the 4th & 5th, we had a two day pass to Sea World.  This was my first time to Sea World, and it was AMAZING!  I'm not a big fan of theme parks usually, but this one tops the charts.  All of the shows were amazing, the 4D theater was amazing, the frozen lemonade was amazing, even the fireworks were great (although we cut it short to beat some traffic). We were there for 13 hours on the 4th.  We left very tired, but very ready to sleep well and hit up day 2.

So we wake up and start to get around, and were immediately bombarded with questions of, "Can we play on the playground?" followed by ten additions of  "But pretty please? ... pretty, pretty, PRETTY please?!"   Really?  You're not ready for Sea World again?  Then it was, "Well can we at least swim?"  What?!  There's a whole water park IN Sea World!  How naive!  There's something much better about 20 minutes away...  just trust us on this one!  Did you forget already?  It may be one thing if we had only talked about Sea World, and they had never experienced it, but they KNEW the greatness of Sea World!  Why would they put it off?  How could they choose anything less?  

I see people, even myself, naively choose a sandbox over Sea World.  I feel like God says, "Really?  I mean there's Jesus.  You know Him, and love Him.  You've felt grace and you've felt life, and you're choosing that?  You're choosing less?  Did you forget already?"  Thank you Jesus for grace and always remind me lest I forget and choose less.

   

Green

I like Missouri.  There's land and family and roots and room to breathe and community and a church I love with people I love and a job I love.  And life, life gets a little clearer with a garden around.

I dig up our yard every spring.  I like to plant and watch things grow.  It's a good thing, to work with your hands and get some dirt under your nails.  I have a favorite spot in our yard by a rock where I pick a new annual to plant every year.  This year I went to four stores until I found the seeds I wanted.  And when you find the perfect plant, you need to buy the perfect soil, which took me to two other stores.  I came home and dug out the gardening tools and my big grandma-esque gardening hat, and dug up some earth.  I planted, watered, pulled out the weeds, monitored, watered some more, until finally three weeks later, out from seeds came a stalk and a bud, and this morning, a big beautiful dahlia. 

 It's also a good thing to see your efforts bloom.

I'm 20.  I'm green.  Not the environmentalist, save-the-planet-with-your-8-compartments-of-a-trash-can-green, but green as in new.  Young.  Inexperienced at life and always looking for a little direction.  Gardening gives perspective.  I get seasons.  They make sense.  It helps me understand growth, and what it means to wait for a good thing.  And what it is when a good thing is at it's end.  I understand what it is to plant, and to work for something.  Gardening, well, the whole act of it is really just one big metaphor, isn't it?